It's the end of another day, and I don't know what to do except post here. I'm becoming more and more isolated. Friends don't want to hear about this. I told my closest friend a few days ago that I was just going to start taking Abilify again even if it did deaden me inside (She's seen me on it), and she just said, "That sounds like a plan" which sounded really flip and sarcastic to me. Just call me overly sensitive, but truly! With friends like that, do I need an enemy. As I said, I'm really feeling alone. I honestly don't want somebody to feel sorry for me, but I want to know there's some hope. I can't remember feeling better than this. I remember feeling hope before. I'm not sure I want to go through that hopeful stage again only to hit this again.

I don't know what's going on. I know I'm very depressed, combined with lots of agitation, anxiety, panic, and more. Does anyone recognize this as having anything to do with BP or am I really abnormal?

Work is more and more stressful because things are piling up. Murphy's Law things are happening (as they will at the worst times) and I'm just not in a supportive environment.