She called back but it was sort of too late. It just didn't leave me enough time to get there in the midst of rush hour traffic. I hate that I said no yesterday but said yes today and I'm all crazy and indecisive. I have trouble knowing what to do to take care of myself. On the other hand, I felt pretty good last night but horrible today. What's up with that? I still feel sad. I feel sad that she didn't call me sooner, but I totally understand that I was the one who asked for a last minute change. I know she is busy with one person right after the other during the day, so I understand she didn't get to my phone message until this evening. But I still feel abandoned. Somehow that little child within me doesn't understand the clear, logical reasons. She just knows that she was in pain this morning and she reached out but didn't get a response until it was too late. These emotional things turn very black and white to me. I usually get past an issue like this by dismissing it. I just think "whatever, that's OK, I get it - it's totally understandable." But I don't usually let myself have the disappointment.