Where is this woman's husband in all of this? Surely you can go out on the weekends when he has the baby for visitation. A one year old child is hardly old enough to be "spoiled" and all babies want what they want when they want it. You can say, gently, to a baby: This cookie is for [someone], but the baby may very well grab it and shove it in her mouth, given the opportunity, or cry because she wants it. I think a better solution is for you to find a woman from your own culture who doesn't have babies, so that your needs can be met.