Hi there....

[quote=Miss Laura;2025240]Hey guys,

(This was written in the Bipolar section but someone thinks it might be a good idea in this section too... so here it goes)

I am really unsure how to even put this down into words.... I am embarrassed to admit this I am into fetish's. The urges are getting stronger. Sometimes I am really only ever thinking about urges and my fetish.

Any triggeres lately?

I have been manic for well seems forever. Tonight the guy who helps with my fetish came over and we did stuff. I have never had sex before and I normally do not think about sex. I think "asexual" may describe who/what I am?????

I feel I can relate a little-after my first two boyfriends and experimenting with a female, I didn't realize it....but I was not even attracted to people for the longest time, and now suddenly boom! I'm finding some males cute and some females cute...it does not happen all the time but I used to be jealous of my bro-he was always pointing out who he thought was hot-I never could; anyway-what I think I relate is the sudden interest.

Anyways all I wanted was sex today.

What was that like for you? You must have been so confused by yourself huh?

asked him to stop as it was sore and to be honest I just wasn't enjoying it. So he played with me and I enjoyed that.

that's good, you were able to communicate your needs;

The only major problem is the guy has a family and wife! I know this is mega wrong. I know this. I really do!

So my guess is that's gona cause you some inner turmoil-is this a pattern? Or have you never been interested in sex before? Just curious because I tend to recreate sex with feelings of being bad because of religous up bringing (well, the way I was brought up) so doing things like sex before marriage, "deviant sexual practices" like oral, and having relations with my same sex are all ways I pull to recreate the guilt....so anyway wondering what your associations are with sex in general...negitive or positive?

Hope you are able to enjoy this new found happiness-I do suggest finding someone to do things with that will not cause you dilema later-it would such to develop a negitive association due to that;

Take care,
-obj