jazzy, I kind of agree with sunrise. You say that you and your T are honest with each other yet you have all of these hurt feelings inside of you. I wish you could tell your T what they are!! I think you need to do that!

About the emails. Boy, do I relate to that. Maybe your T is like mine, and simply does not want to do therapy via email. Answering your emails would be doing that. Although my T and I decided that she will no longer send me my one email anymore, I still want to email her. I wasn't getting much from that one email anyway. I think there are a lot of reasons it still helps even without the answer. I know my T reads all my emails, so she KNOWS what I'm thinking and feeling. That's the main reason I do it.

Why do you want to email her? Or don't you? Is it the inconsistency that is bothering you? It's that she hasn't made the boundaries clear enough to you? You said you miss the responses. I did too. I mean, I loved it when I got responses to my feelings about the session each time I emailed.

So, your T stopped replying whereas she used to? I think you need to have an honest discussion about your feelings about the email. Again, you say you're being more honest, but it doesn't seem that way to me. It's yucky having questions and confusion about what's going on inside your T's head. If you ask her, then you will at least know. I'm sorry you're feeling the way you do but I'm sure you can resolve it!