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Originally Posted by Moose72
Ugh post got eaten. Hate this keyboard.
I have thought people were following me. (Paranoia) I have walked detached from myself feeling in another world, the colors of my surroundings were very vivid (depersonalization/derealization). I have seen people wak onto a porch and then disappear. (hallucination) I have heard voices calling me while home alone only to open the door and see noone. (hallucination) I have had the cable tv transmitter start playing music - 1930s jazz with muted trumpet- and talk to me saying things like "Look at me! Listen to me!" (Hallucinations)
Sometimes I just feel crummy - aggitated and crying and wound up (mixed state). Sometimes I cry for no reason- (mixed state) Sometimes I run and sing at the top of my lungs. (Hypomania) Sometimes I wander for 2 days straight and don't sleep and talk everybody's ears off. (Mania) Sometimes I stand at a balcony and know that I can fly and think about it but stop because if I'm wrong I'll upset the old ladies shopping below. (Mania) Sometimes I have sex with strangers or beg a non-stranger for sex. Sometimes I just am extremely friendly and "touchy feelie" with friends (mania) Once, I suddenly realized the "thread that binds the meaning of my life together". (Uh, dunno what to call this one!) A few times, I saw myself ripping the spines out of people or crushing their skulls- every bit as vivid as real life, but superimposed on real life. I had no control over it. (Horror Movie Hallucinations) Sometimes, when I am in a public place, like a restaurant, the noise level becomes too much. Its no longer a "din". Its every single noise that is being made individually on top of every other noise. It is overwhelming and almost scary and definitely anxiety-producing.
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What a description, Moose! Do your meds help keep all of that under control, or do they make you feel bad? I've read over and over that lots of people don't take their meds because they don't like the way they feel on the meds. Does this affect you too? Take care! And thanks!
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