Quote:
Originally Posted by tigergirl
 I think it's a really hard decision to make. This is such a delicate and important area and you are just starting to open up to T about it all; you fear sharing but maybe you also fear not sharing the past experiences as well? do you know what is prompting wanting to tell him about those? |
Hi tigergirl - I had been feeling more settled with T, but this is feeling really hard right now - I think that is a good question about wanting to tell T these things. We have spent a long time just getting to a superficial talking stage and after 18 months, I want to start looking at the other stuff. There are 3 main things that are important to talk about and this (SI) seemed at the time to be the easiest of them. But then I remembered that I had on 2 occasions started to act on the thoughts, although scared myself and managed to snap out of it. I never told T, I didn't want to raise concerns about me, but looking back I think it would have been wise to. So we are exploring SI but everytime this guilty secret of mine takes over my head and I can't focus on anything else, which is blocking my ability to talk about the other stuff. So this is why I want to tell T, just so it is out there.
I just don't think I can and I am scared of writing it down and e-mailing it, for fear of where it could end up.