It is up to you to maintain your boundaries. You can't leave this up to others. For you in this situation it sounds more like weak emotional boundaries, like you "absorb" those around you. You can work on this and strengthen yourself and build your own identity so that you aren't so vulnerable to others. You had to tend to the needs of others at your expense when you were growing up? Having healthy boundaries are taught and some of us weren't fortunate enough to have families with heathy boundaries.