I had appointments yesterday but I cancelled them and stayed in bed. I made an excuse to my husband that my stomach wasn't well. I lolly-gagged all day, sleeping on and off, feeling heavy, lifeless, depressed. There were leftovers for dinner so I didn't have to cook. I emerged around 8 pm and watched some TV. Not only do I loathe myself, I loathe people who behave this way. I am such a "Debby Downer". Waiting for the med (Lamictal) to be titirated up. Praying that it works because I can't go on like this. I can't stand it day after day...No energy, no motivation, no life. I have all the "support systems" in place, P-doc, T-doc, supportive husband, etc. but I'm such a failure. No magic pill will cure this and I lack the energy to help myself. I can't ever remember it being this bad or lasting this long (started in March and it's all been downhill).