Rose and Porcupine, not getting the right care at the time or any continuous care in mental health seems to be a widespread phenomenon and obviously doesn't seem state- or country-specific at all! I can definitely subscribe to what you describe there. You often have to be suicidal to get some form of help and I think it's just not right what is happening there.
I can also relate to what you say about self-harming and the use of alcohol use:
I normally don't self-harm (a month ago I did because everything was falling apart around me), but when hate, anger and pain in your head become too much it sometimes suggests itself as a quick form of release.
I have used alcohol for many years as an antidote to anxiety and nagging, obsessive thoughts and have only been better with it over previous years and have in actual fact been off alcohol completely for quite a few months now.
Sometimes it's just very hard to use more constructive means of dealing with things. I am normally much better these days using more constructive means, but I know how difficult it can be. If mental health services took any note of where these difficulties are leading to, which then costs the NHS (or other national healthcare systems) even more money usually, they would do something more speedily!
Rose, I hope you get some more help and support from someone professional very quickly!