There's also an endorphine rush with any addictive behaviour that reinforces the behaviour... I'm the same way that the SI stops the emotional hurricane for a bit and gives me a false sense of control over that which I can't seem to control any other way. I often also call it a "pop off" valve like on a hot water heater that releases pressure rather than the catastrophic explosion of a faulty water heater...

ED's have the same false sense of control and that is what is battled there as well. We are all eventually trying to fill the black holes or stop the emotional tsunamis... And in the end...we all have to learn how to deal with the emotions in better ways while learning to temper the behaviours as a two-pronged approach to fight any addiction.

Am I winning that battle right now? NO. But I am trying...

Don't let the "high" fool you...All that glitters is not gold.

Soothing hugs..

Wysteria Blue