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Sep 15, 2011, 06:45 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,288
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
I have returned to being severely depressed like I have not had to endure since before July 21rst, which is creeping towards the intolerable zone, and the new pdoc I have is pretty much unavailable, not that I expect she could do anything about it.
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Ok, lets think about this, why do you think that this might be happening?
You have to ask yourself in a very deep honest way Rose because you HAVE come a long way and very slowly got to a very positive point.
And you know what? You really deserve to be at the good spot you slowly moved towards.
So you have some very deep concerns that comes with a possibility that you really might get this job. There is a real reason for this and what it is has something to do with doubt and one of your weaker areas, maybe something where you felt threatened or was not appreciated.
Rose, your a very capable person and when you are put in a position where you can guide others in a very positive way using what you know professionally, YOU SHINE VERY BRIGHTLY.
And I have seen that side of you and it is EXTREMELY STRONG AND GIFTED.
Whenever any human being has an unpleasant experience, and I remember that you did go through something that was not really fair to you. There is always going to be a strong desire and even fear to be caught in that same situation. There is always going to be a deep hidden fear of some kind of failure. And anytime we even make steps to try again, that fear can be so great that when we get really close or even try, the mere closeness to that bad experience, can be so troubling that we can very easily feel depressed over it.
Now lets take some positive soothing steps, ok?
A very positive woman went to an interview and she has felt good about how she presented herself and it must have went pretty well. And it went so well that she just might get that job. And it would be a good job for her because it is not just diving into a full time drain on her and after all, she is still on the mend. So that part went well and you are in that pool up to you waste and there is an opportunity to swim and at a pace that can allow you to practice swimming again.
But your still only just waist deep at the moment because you haven't really heard if are going to get the job witch would be an invitation to swim at an easy pace.
And you "DO" KNOW HOW TO SWIM ROSE. It is just that the last time you were swimming some not so nice people splashed you and did things in that pool that were not right. And even though you stated what was not right, no one heard you and you left that pool.
Rose, this is a different pool, your a good swimmer and you deserve to swim because not only can you swim but you are also good at helping others swim. You have to have some "FAITH" in yourself Rose. The depression is all about "NOT BELIEVING IN YOURSELF" and "BEING ASHAMED AND AFRAID OF GETTING HURT AGAIN".
So, this is a kind of test in your "FAITH AND CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF"and it is also and "OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO TRY AGAIN AND GET PAST THAT".
You have to believe and trust that if you do get that opportunity to try again, once you get there and swim around and find your way, YOU WILL REMEMBER HOW YOU CAN REALLY SWIM AND ENJOY AND BE GOOD AT IT.
Rose, you ARE good at servicing others in the area that you know. I have seen you do it and do an EXCELLENT job at it. And think about the days and your efforts here and how well people responded to you. And that is your gift, you CAN do it, it is there.
There is a very strong person inside of you Rose and that person has a gift and "ROSE DESERVES TO LET IT HAPPEN AND BE ROSE".
  
Here are lots of hugs, everyone here knows you can do it, everyone here is here to support you, listen to you and remind you that YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Open Eyes
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