I'm so sorry you're going through this. As to how not to love someone, or something for that matter, anymore I am hopeless. We don't control our feelings only our reactions to our feelings. Sometimes we have to make judgement calls - even if you love someone very much, if they are making you suffer, if they are causing your health to suffer, if the relationship with that person is unhealthy you HAVE TO consider finding a way to cut them out of your life.

In this case, with this guy blatently emotionally harming you not to mention not supporting your children... .... and with no promise of change. I think you need to protect yourself even if it hurts it's important for you to be ok, and to be able to be there for your children. And the unborn one... if this child comes into contact with this man, and the man is harmful emotionally to the child that will be a problem too.

So I do think cutting him out of your life as much as possible (minus child costs) would be a good idea.

take care, I wish you luck and keep posting here if it helps!