Hi HFDJ - I think others have given you some great tips to use right now. All I can offer is that I did lose myself ... for a good 15+ years. It took a diagnosis of a serious illness (which I overcame) to wake myself up again. I got down to normal weight (lost 60 pounds), and the weight loss and exercise made me feel better physically. Then an emotional event happened that turned my life upside down, and I realized I couldn't deal with it by myself. I went into therapy and am now working on becoming the person I used to be ... only better. (It's not like I was perfect before I lost myself ) So there is hope, it can be done! Good luck, and let us know how it goes if you want to share.