<font color="purple"> Rayna -

I know we haven't really met, which is a good thing for right now and this post but a bad thing bcuz I should have done it sooner..

So first, as an objective response being an outsider, I have to agree with Richard and Myln. This is probably going to be a disaster waiting to happen - and this kind of heartbreak could easily affect YOUR sobriety. I know for a fact that this is the LAST THING YOU WANT; and because of that fact, the worst thing you could do right now is add any kind of potential risky conseqences.

While I certainly can understand why you would be contemplating this, have you really examined the 'big picture'? I'm a little bit questionable in my faith right now, so I also commend and respect that you are trying, as well as doing, to leave this in God's hands and you will know the answer when the time is right. As difficult as it may be, the more you continue to pursue this, whether directly or indirectly, the more emotions will be put in play.

He needs quite a bit of time to work out the specifics with his wife as well. I again concur that her being an alcoholic or not is moot; the fact remains that he is still in a committed relationship that is [before you came into the picture] already having many challenges. This is leaving the door wide open for who knows what on his end alone.

All these thoughts have one common denominator: Your sobriety and well-being. I never intended this to be a lecture so please do not take any of this as such. I have only thought of your sobriety the entire time I typed this. I would think the same in every situation about every alcoholic because sobriety is priority #1. All I know is keeping your head up and clear, you'll keep adding a month and adding a month becuase you are also healing yourself - and 're-learning' how to deal with situations w/out alcohol. This is a HUGE HUGE situation that the negative consequences could lead to a re-lapse.

I do pray for you and this decision you have to make. I again am merely being an objective outsider for you and there is nothing but good intentions behind it. Regardless, I respect you and your decision(s) and will be there for you each step of the way so you do not have to be 'alone'. We're all here for you and care so much that I/We only are looking out for your best interests. Hugs to you hun and take it easy.. ~Niko </font>