I answered this post in the other forum but forgot to add something. You mentioned you had an over powering/controlling mother, so basically she hard wired you to take/accept being ordered around - so sorry you had such an unhealthy relationship with your mother. I'm sure this was stifling and produced a great deal of repressed anger. You learned how to be submissive to your mom and probably have a certain kind of body language - let me explain. When the lady at work started asking you inappropriate questions, you reluctantly answered and probably looked down and uncomfortable. Since she's a bully she new from that point on she had you, so to speak. Due to your upbringing you tolerate at first this kind of behavior, until you can't stand it anymore ...then your repressed anger causes you to blow up.

The solution is to learn how to be firmly assertive(not losing it though), the moment you sense someones intentions are inappropriate / unfair. Body language is important. If that was me and someone asked me about my sex life etc - I would right away say "excuse ME its none of your business". Bullies look for easy targets. This doesn't mean you want to walk around like a tough guy with an attitude - but do walk and talk with confidence.

The key with the past experience is - the moment these women started bothering you, you became that reluctantly compliant little boy, but then later on you asserted yourself too strongly which ended up giving those women what they wanted. Play it cool with reserved strength from the beginning, then bullies won't mess with you.