Thanks SWE... I did something similar to see if it would nudge any new memories...it helped pin point where everyone was when I first could remember ...like which siblings where in the house, which were in college, which had moved out, etc...not too many "new" memories.

T. said that he hoped if I could list "theoretically" about would be the worst things I could possibly remember or talk about then it would reduce my anxiety about talking about any of it... but talking about things in a theoreticaly fact way is easy... talking about my feelings about any of it is scary...

Just don't know how to be able to get to the place where I can talk about it...