Sage10, Sorry I have taken so long to respond, This week has been busy and long at work and I have not been on line much. It is not healthy to be in a relationship where you are always on the defense. That wears you down mentally and physically. It will age you, as well as give you a bad view of life and others. Watch out if you try to leave. Guilt trips will be thrown in your face. You will be the one who would not work things out with him. You will be the one who "turned on him" in a time of need. It is easy to say just ignore him...But when you are the one in the relationship, it won't be easy to remember that he is drawing desperate straws to keep you. Do know that no matter how tough he acts, He will be hurt. relationships are the greatest thing in your life when they start, and the worst when things go wrong.
You should not at all have to throw your self at a man to get his attention. You should be the center of his attention. And in return, you should hold him up. But it takes two to make it work. One can't do it all, and the other nothing and expect the relationship to live. It just don't work. I wish you much luck in what ever you decide to do. But your right, you both need to be happy. Not just him.
As to fixing him......He is the only one who can make up his mind that he needs to change his outlook. No matter what you do or say, you can't fix him. You can either put up with it knowing that some time, someday he will change.( could be years, could be next week) but the one thing for sure....You won't be the one to change it. He might fake it if you threaten to leave, but It will resurface eventually until he decides to let it go.
Bryan