I cant understand these feelings that always attack me. I feel so lethargic and hopeless in all that I do or don't do My life is so miserable I cant find a way to get better. Yes I am on meds and Yes I see someone regularly, I always seem to be able to function on those days and yet as soon as I can relax and enjoy my time all I do is sit here and feel bad. very bad. or sleep and then all of a sudden its time to go back to work. I seem to live vicariously through my thoughts or imagination. Rather than going out and living. You all probably wont understand, I am so alone here and I get super anxious when I go anywhere alone. There is no one I can go with without feeling like a burden. No real friends. Family have all moved away. Id like to go away too. but were not allowed to talk about that. When I am alone though that is all I can think about. I fantasize about it. When my T encourages me to try harder she is just putting more anxiety onto me because I cant. Its too hard. This life is just TOO HARD
I do not mean to upset anyone this is just how I feel about MY life.