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Bless your heart, Jazper -- Of COURSE we understand! We've lived like that before too!! I can remember clearly when I lived in that deep dark, pit!
I wish you would talk to your doctor -- it's very possible that your antidepressant stopped working -- that happens after we've been on it for awhile -- we become "accustomed" to the dosage, and it either has to be increased, or we have to switch to another antidepressant. This has happened to me many times -- I've been depressed since I was a child, and have been on medications for years!
PLEASE don't think about harming yourself -- there IS help!!! I'm glad you're seeing a therapist, but there are times when we have to change therapists too! If your current one isn't helping you that much, find another! Don't settle for the status quo. You DESERVE to feel better -- and it's possible, and not that hard either.
So please talk to your doctor. I wish you the very best. God bless & take care -- and PLEASE keep us posted as to how you're doing. Hugs, Lee
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