I'm in my forties and I have had anxiety attacks since I was in my early twenties. So twenty years of anxiety, not to mention about the same length in weekly migraines.

I sometimes wonder about the person I would have been if I hadn't suffered those things. I would have become a doctor. I would have had money, friends, husband, children, etc. I see myself as strong, tall, fit and thin.

Its like I went down the wrong road and now, no matter what I do, I don't seem to be able to get back on it.

I haven't got panic attacks anymore, not unless something major happens to change my routines. I have a mild anxiety. I experience agoraphobia and social phobia but its mild enough to let me get on with my life, ie, shopping and going to the doctors. However, holidays are out, as are friends.

What a mess! God help me, another 40 years of this to go! What a waste of a life.