Zelev said: Makes sense to ME. Other people are just a waste of time. Simply pain without any compensation. But, BUT, it would be nice to be able to relate to someone who didn't hurt you back. Like a cat or a dog.

Old story. Lots have done it. Lots live in it now. You're not alone. Which means, at the very least, you don't have to keep doing it if you don't want to. You CAN have contact, at the very least, with other people who live like you, who are isolated. Because most isolated people don't really want to be TOTALLY isolated. They want to be PROTECTED while at the same time having some kind of SAFE contact with SAFE people who UNDERSTAND them.

And since in our society of over THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE there are LOTS of the same kind of people, you can most definitely find quite a few others with just your combination of wants and needs.

Forget your family. Unless any of them are salvageable. Mothers in particular (in my experience) are very much NOT salvageable. Forget her. Find any relatives you may have who are mentally ill and start relationships with them. They will have something to share. And then there's us, your non-physically, but very mentally-related people who live in the same world you do.

Keep in mind, though, that NO ONE need go without a friend, or several friends. All it takes, in this internet age, is, first, a reasonably clear idea of who you yourself are, what needs, what desires, what characteristics, what preferences. And then, second, a willingness to get out there on the internet and CIRCULATE. Talk to people. Look for the folks who are your true relations. And THEY'RE THERE!!! No kidding. No ********. YOU WILL find friends on the net, people you can relate to, people like you, people entirely similar to whoever you may be.

Of course you can stop. You don't have to be what your family wants you to be. You're a free man! Seriously. Fantasyland may be attractive (look who's talking!) but real friends in reality are a whole lot better. And they're out there! You can find them!

Yeah. Me too. One brother got on and stayed on heroin forever til he died. Another drank himself to death. And then there was the one who got away, like yours. Moved three thousand miles away and refused forever to talk to any of the rest of us. Yeah. Forget him. There just are people who will stop at nothing to save themselves if they think they've found the way. And I can't blame them. You're born, you realize you're in a really terrible family and if you're smart, you clear out and cut your ties, forever. Can't blame 'em. Can't blame 'em at all.

Well, it makes sense as a story, but it doesn't make sense as a way of life. Direct yourself to making friends on the net. Or in real life, at local insitutions like the library, the church, any auxiliary group you can join. The Humane Society (my personal favorite). The senior center. You CAN make friends. EVERYBODY likes to make friends. If you're not scared of them they won't be scared of you! Take care!