I have been very unsuccessful socially throughout my life. At home I was lucky if my father ever acknowledged my presence. I struggled as a child and a teenager when interacting with others.

I never liked to be told what to do and was never willing to let someone make me do anything. I had a very creative mind and, instead, preferred to do things alone.

Reasonably attractive, my social group as a teenager became and remained the boys who liked me and wanted to date me. I had to transfer to a diffferent high school due to my father's job transfer. I attended and completed college but, other than the men that I dated, never got close to anyone after the friendships that I had at the two high schools.

Now a professional, I still don't connect with others. Beyond independent study for degrees and licenses, I have a very tough time planning and completing anything. My intentions are always impressive. I exercise on a daily basis alone. I work 6 days a week, spending the day off sleeping and getting caught up on chores.

It still strains me to have to extend the effort to engage in conversations beyond work assignments. I always try to say "Hello" but honestly don't have any interest in anyone else beyond that until I need them for work-related matters. Sometimes I am capable of extending a bit more effort. However, the truth is that I really prefer to be alone and have people mind their business and leave me alone as well. I have lost job after job because of my social handicap.

I have recently begun to feel regrets regarding my life. I feel unhappy, although I have to admit that is not something that I am unfamiliar with. I wish that I could be a friendly, selfless person who smiles often and draws others to her by helping them be comfortable with her.