So, a while back I was throwing up constantly because of anxiety after giving T a 40 page story. The content was embarrassing and I was physically ill after giving it to her. Then got physically ill right before the appointments.

I felt frustrated for a while... She refused to go near the content of it. I felt like it was shameful... That's why she was 'avoiding'.

But this last session on Friday was near perfect. Even tho we touched none of the content... She interacted with "little me". (I have DID... But this 'little me' is actually ME, not an alter, but the ME that feels small and child-like, and scared, like an infant with insecure attachment) She cuddled me a lot and rocked me.

She drew me a picture and had me draw her one, so that little me had something to take home. It was a heart with clouds and rainbows (a symbol of healing for me).

Little me doesn't have words for what happened. Little me is scared to be there, afraid she is going to hurt me or not respond at all. But she spent time rocking me and talking to me. Telling me that she loved each part of me. Even the part of me that I keep labeling as 'bad' for wanting 'bad things' from her.

It felt so safe. It felt so safe and I felt so wrapped up at the end. She took care of me and protected me. She kept little me safe like she promised she would. It's the first time in a long time I came home and didn't have a complete emotional melt down.

T did so good with little me. I love her so much.