I have been divorced from a very controlling / manipulative man for 8 months. The control was never obvious, but very subtle, undermining comments to make his ideas always far better than mine, lack of emotional support, plus a whole heap of stuff that would fill up this website.

Anyway we remain civil (me through gritted teeth) for the sake of our boys - well that's the story that gets told, I thnk I remain civil to keep his controlling under control - if I didn't allow him to stay here a couple of nights a week I am scared that he would manipulate things so he could have my boys staying with him for increasing amounts of time.

He has now bought a place about half a mile from my mum's house. She called me this morning and said he has suggested that she walk up there when she takes her dog for a walk for a coffee and then he will drive her home again.

Mum asked if I minded and I didn't know what to say really - it feels again like his controlling behaviour - like he wants his life exactly as it has always been with contact with my family and friends - only minus me - apart from when it suits him. However I said the adult thing that her realtionship with him has nothing to do with me and she should do what she wants to do. I should make it clear that this is definitely not about him having an intimate relationship with my mum, but just carrying on the son-in-law / mother-in-law one.

However I am feeling really hurt and betrayed by both of them, where is my mum's loyalty to me? I feel like so unimportant and horrible.

I was wondering whether anyone else has experienced this situation and whether or not I am overreacting, I just can't make sense of it, or know how I am supposed to be feeling about it.