My 6-year-old has ODD...Oppositional Defiant Disorder. She responds to punishment by becoming enraged. I have taken her to a psychologist and we worked for a year with amazing results. I have switched tactics and now accentuate the positive instead of punishing the negative. For example, when she has a "green" day at school...meaning good behavior...she gets a marble in a jar. When she has a "yellow" day, some problem like talking too much, etc., she does not get any marbles. And when she has a "orange" or "red" day, she gets marbles removed. She puts the marbles in herself, and at the end of the month, she gets a dollar for each marble to spend wherever she wants. This focus on "green" days has helped tremendously. Her Dad and I have separate household, and he punishes her for yellow days. I have some trouble being consistent at home with routines, so I try to remove myself from the equation by using a timer, etc., for tasks, like piano practice and homework.
But some days I feel overwhelmed by my depression...I have Bipolar II...and just can't seem to muster the strength to be consistent. I worry that my behavior will only worsen her ODD. I don't have much community support...most of the mothers I know don't have behavior problems with their children. My daughter just doesn't get the satisfaction with little events that others do. For example, her piano teacher told her she would get a 'sticker' if she did well. My daughter was like, "What? A sticker?" I worry that "rewarding" her for expected behavior will only cause her to expect more and more rewards for behavior that should just be accepted as normal. Her psychologist reassured me and told me my daughter will eventually get in the habit of being good, and the need for rewards will diminish. But I haven't seen this yet. Any help?