I'll be the first to admit it. I refuse to accept help. I hate it when a guy tells me how to do something and I automatically view it as controlling. I take it to the extreme too. Someone telling me I can't do something makes me do it 10x more or harder than I would have before. I don't like depending on anyone. To the point that I went out and bought a car that I couldn't afford so that my dad would then have no financial connection to me. I stopped accepting help from my parents before I graduated high school and don't like accepting even birthday presents.

Well as a lot of you know I had surgery this past Wednesday on my knee and I'm doing it again. I am putting myself through physical pain to not accept help from people and I don't know how to put my ego aside and just accept it. What the hell is wrong with me? I have stitches in my leg and I act like nothing even happened. My bf tries to help and I won't let him. And the worst part....is I KNOW that I do it and I don't stop. Why do I view everything like this as a personal attack? How can I convince myself that not all offers of help are meant to be a sign of me being weak?