I am sorry you were abused and it affects yoru current outlook on relationships. Could you see a relationship therapist with experience in your lifestyle? I don't know if they exist, but I'm just wondering since you and your master could work on better communication with the help of a professional.

I am about as feminine as can be (although I have a "male brain" according to thos eonline tests you can do), so I don't really relate to or comprehend your gender issues. Sorry that I cannot help you in this respect.