My T confronted me in a gentle way about my tendency to beat myself up/be hard on myself, at least several times. I wouldn't be surprised if there were more times, but they went over my head.

The first time I remember is when he suggested, after I discussed something difficult, that I perhaps might have "tender and kind" feelings towards myself going out into my week. I snorted in disgust, and then said to him that I thought that was how he felt towards me. He smiled.

The second time he said that he observed in my journal writing that I was hard on myself. He said he had to stop himself from making me feel better about the things that I was being hard on myself about. I shrugged.

The third time made more of an impression on me. He said something like it's good that you are concerned for other people's feelings and that you defend other people for a living and that you have a lot of gentleness and respect towards others who are suffering or struggling, BUT, I wish you would consider adopting some of this perspective towards yourself.

I heard him. I don't think I acknowledged that I heard him, but it did help me shift towards a more empathic experience of myself.

So where are you going with this? I assume you're not doing research for a paper or something.

Anne