I think SI is a very difficult thing for family and friends to understand - I SI and even I can't make sense of it at times - others can think that it is connected to wanting to end it all and therefore it can be quite frightening.

What I have learned is , although I am very secretive about my SI (only my T knows and he doesn't know teh details of where / how I do it) - it really in many ways is not the important bit - the important bit is what leads to is.

So maybe you could sit with your mum and tell her about all the stuff up to the point of the SI, not sure what those bits are for you, but for me they are intense feelings, not knowing how to control them, feeling distressed by them, powerless etc. etc. etc. That way you can share with her the important bits without focusing on the SI which in the end is just the end result of all the important stuff.

Of course depending on the severity of the SI it can become the priority, so do keep yourself safe.

I would think that as your mum has asked yoru brother about it, that she may have even doen a bit of reading herself, so maybe she would be more prepared to talk about it with you than you think? But obviously you know your mum and I don't.

I do know for me that it has been years of bottling things up and not knowing how to talk about my needs that has led to my SI - I am slowly unravelling all of this with my T.

Good luck with talking to your mum - let us know how you are - Soup