Billi,

i was abused as a child and have major trust issues with most people because i open myself up so much to stimuli, a lot gets in. one thing that has helped me with interpersonal relationships is that there is always a light on the other side of the tunnel and sometimes what we fear most, is what will make us the happiest.

i learned a while back that my greatest fear, could be yours too, is outside the comfort zone of pain inflicted. now you may be into pain, and if you are i hope it makes you happy (stay strong!). if you're not, then realizing that on the other side you may find complete freedom from pain can be fearful as we were (i was) impressed with realities akin to not deserving freedom, not deserving real love. full love, love you can completely open up to is a scary thing, but you can do it. you know why? you deserve to be loved and your abusers were messed up and probably suffering from their own pain, i know mine did.

find your freedom, and if you want to go back and forth and practice opening up to women- i opened up my email from fellow site members.

RuthAnnMarie