I feel like you are talking about me.....I do this to people and I know I do. Eventually something huge comes out about my past and they feel hurt that it took so long for me to talk about it.

I honestly don't know what to tell you. What makes me trust people is when they listen. When I say "leave me alone" and they do....it makes me more likely to trust them. Someone constantly asking me to talk makes me want to go into my little turtle shell.

Something my ex and I used to do to get me to talk was start a notebook. He would write me a note, just a simple one, and maybe put a sentence or two that he was concerned about me or how I was feeling. I would find it while he was gone and it gave me time to process it without having someone staring at me or hovering over my shoulder. Then I would write out what I was feeling. Lets me stay a little disconnected from the words while still getting it off my chest.

I don't know if that will work for you two? I agree with shez that, if you are feeling abandoned by her and not getting what you need from this friendship, then maybe a cooling off period is in order?