Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfSwede
It seems hard to square the idea that the way I react to things is normal with, essentially, the idea that the way that I react to things is abnormal. Either I'm mentally ill or I'm not; it can't be both. But maybe my emotional disturbance comes from the fact that I feel so much upset over my emotional responses -- deep shame, as a matter of fact: the feeling that I can't handle situations in which others wouldn't even bat an eye.
But one thing I've learned is that, with a problem like this, you take help wherever you can find it, even if it seems to contradict something else you also think might help. And I think it makes perfect sense that I'm drawn to a belief system that doesn't tell me my behavior is pathological.
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I understand your confusion, I often feel the same way, particularly being ashamed of my feelings, like sadness and anger, or any other emotions I feel I am weak for not being able to control. At a funeral for a friend of the family I felt so terrible for crying that I had to hide in the bathroom for over an hour
I don't know how people do it. I felt like a spectacle.
Does this, for you, have anything to do with being raised in an environment where your emotions were discounted or punished? Were you ever goaded or chided or shamed for showing your feelings? It's hard not to come out all kinds of confused from a situation like that, and still hard to feel like your own emotions are "allowed" even after you've grown up.