Hi Granite...

I'm sorry that you are feeling so weird about your session with T, but you did know about sending the letter and that she would probably be reacting to it in one way or another in your last thread.. I thought Kacey really gave you a really great reply in the last post #24 of your last thread on this subject. I hope you'll go back and re-read it.

T's are only human and when we yell at them and berate them even in a letter they have a right to respond to us and let us know that there are consequences to our behaviours in the way we speak to others. You dreaded her response because you knew you had been very harsh with her in the letter. All relationships have some give and take. She did set a boundary and then went on to talk about trust and loving and nurturing and how much she cares about you. She never withdrew her support or caring...she just said you can't hurt people with words and not expect a reaction..

There's an old story about a boy that said something very cruel to his friend and the father overhead the comment and knew the friend was very hurt. Knowing that an apology was not enough..he took the boy in the bathroom and squeezed out a fairly long line of toothpaste on the counter and told the young son to put it all back in the tube and handed him a toothpick to do it with.
After a long time he went back to check on the son's progress. The son was very frustrated and nearly in tears. The father sat down and hugged him and reminded him how are our words are like the toothpaste. It is almost impossible to put them all back once we have said them in haste or cruelty.

Did the father love the son any less? No, of course not. He just showed him that words hurt. Your T just did the same thing...

Yes, we can always be open with our T's and they "understand" that we get angry and frustrated and all kinds of things can come out in therapy. But attacking the T personally is not helpful. She just wants you to think twice about those words you said, which even you knew had crossed the line... And then move on and open up in a positive and productive way with her and trust her to help you to move forward in your journey.
Nothing more..nothing less. She cares very much about you...if she didn't care she wouldn't reach out to you and try so very hard to help you..

Huggles,

Wysteria Blue