Thank you for all the replies. He and I got into an argument right after I posted this. We both calmed down by the time I got off work and were fine again but I kept noticing little things. I don't know if again I'm exaggerating them or if it's legitimate concerns... He's just seeming less and less wanting to do things. I have a 3 year old daughter and for the past year and a half or so he's been really helpful on his own with her. He willingly does things for me all the time but yesterday when I asked him (because my back had been bothering me yesterday, I have degenerative disc disease in my back) to help my daughter into her car seat he just sat there for a minute, didn't say anything then went around and buckled her in the seat. When I said thank you he just said "yup". Then we're driving down the road and I ask him if I can turn on my cd since I had made a mixed cd that we both liked. He just said no and me thinking he was joking I said "Man you've had your CD in there for days" so he says "because it's my da** car" He was half laughing when he said that. I just said "OK" and sat back in my seat. He noticed it had upset me and apologized and said he was just joking but I don't think he was.
The thing is, last year he was driving my car with me in the passengers seat and I was laying down in the passengers seat taking a nap. We live in a small town and he was taking me out of town for my birthday when a tow truck came in our lane both of us going 60. He went of the road lost control of the car and went back on the road and into an explorer flipping the explorer. I thank the Lord every day we were alive and my daughter was not with us. My car was totalled. I have no money for another one. Then I make plans to get driving again and had 3 seizures in August. They suspended my license for 3 years. I can't drive and I no longer have a car. I feel useless in this aspect and he knows this so his comment about his dang car hurt me. He blamed his self for the accident and told me that when he got another car he was going to give me the car he currently has. I've always told him it was unnessesary. He would then call it "our" car since we all use it pretty much. He also blames himself for the seizures since the fist one happened because I did something I did not want to do but did because he wanted me to. I don't blame him for either. He was not the tow truck who caused the accident and he was not the one who decided to go through with something they had a feeling not to do. He blames himself but I don't blame him.

I've been trying really hard this past week not to let myself got overly upset over things. Not to get so jealous. He says I get upset too easily and I've been working hard on this. But he notices every tiny thing and looks at it like it's me getting just as mad as if I were yelling at him. He expects me to be happy non stop. He's made the comment before that he wished I could just be happy for one day without something upsetting me. That hurt my feelings. Maybe I do get too emotional.

The night I had the first seizure while I was still out of my mind I asked my boyfriend to marry me. It was something before that night that I had thought of many many many times before but was waiting for him to make the move. He said yes and said he wanted to ask me last v-day and was going to use a family heirloom for the ring but his mom couldn't find it. We decided we were going to wait to tell anyone until we were finished with college, our parents are kinda like that where we know they would rather us wait.

He used to laugh and smile when we would talk about it. Now he doesn't say anything about it. As if we had never discussed it before. He used to whisper "my future wife" to me when people were around. The one argument we get into he tells me "how can I marry you if you're always getting to upset and you don't trust me?" since that day he hasn't mentioned us getting married once. I'm ready to rip everything involving that up and tell him I take it back. Can you do that? I don't want to.... But does he?

Lee, unfortunately I don't think couples councelling is going to be possible for us since neither one of us has insurance and we're pretty broke until we can get out of school. I doubt he would go. He's not the counceling type, none of his family. They are all very hush hush about that kind of thing. I need personal therapy again I'm afraid. I thought I was going well on my own but I'm thinking there's a lot more going on up in my head than I originally had thought.

Up until 2 months ago we didn't fight a lot. We had our moments. When work was stressing us out we would argue, if we had a bad week at work we would have a bad week in our relationship. I can see how my stress effects our relationship. But 95% of our relationship has been good happy and loving. So many people have admitted to being jealous of what we had. Saying we were always happy, they never saw us fight, asking if we ever did fight. Noticing how we always are on the same page. We always agree on the same things, like the same things, do the same things. Everything about us seemed perfect. It was. Every little detail. In the car in the middle of dead silence too many times we both go to talk and say the exact same thing at the same time. We've had the same life experiences but in our own way. His parents were the parents I wanted, my mom was the mom he wanted. It's an even perfect balance between the two of us. But since August things have changed and our relationship has made an unexpected turn. After nearly 2 years of extremely happy times I don't think I'm quite ready to give it up after just 2 months of rocks. I want it to work more than I want to run away, that says something to me.

Emptybee; thank you for your post and I'm sorry you deal with this as well. It's no fun that's for sure. My boyfriend does have some insecurity issues and I don't know if that's a reason. I think most of it is my insecurities but I've noticed something about him when he argues. His parents pointed it out. He's always the victim. No matter what you say he feels like he's being attacked. And he goes into defense mode instantly. Example... About a month ago I was feeling really insecure. The seizures were still fresh in my mind and I noticed all the changes starting in the relationship. He was playing drums for the church and I got insecure thinking her was interested in the female singer. Knowing I was just being insecure in the car I didn't say anything but he kept asking me over and over what was wrong until I had to. I only said "I feel like you were more interested in her then me when you didn't look at me for 4 songs in a row." and he lost it. Got really mad and went off about how insecure and untrusting I was of him. It turned into a HUGE argument where I just sat there quiet not wanting to worsen things and he sat there ranting and raving about my trust issues.

I love him and it's been hard but I've been in abusive and cheating relationships. I know this one is worth saving I just don't know how.

Thank you once again Shezbut for your reply. You're always so helpful and I always find your posts caring and genuine. I'm sorry you're dealing with this as well. I do probably need to just step away and allow myself to see things the real way. He is just on it so fast if he suspects something is wrong. The moment he sees me stop smiling he's asking what's wrong or if I'm ok. Granted I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but he doesn't give me time to even understand my feelings. I've mentioned this to him before but he doesn't seem to fully understand. He says he will work on it but it seems as if he's just looking for me to be upset. It makes things worse when he expects me to get mad 24/7

The doc appointment is still a month and 6 days away. Time is dragging so slow. My health seems to be better. It seems to me that the seizures are stress related since that's when they get at their worst so I've been trying my hardest to not stress. He doesn't think so and doesn't see it but I really am and I've made a lot of improvements. I'm proud of myself but he seems to only see my slips and not the big picture. It's so confusing and I dunno what to do about it.

Thank you again for all of the posts, sorry to write so much I'm gonna go ahead and post this before I write a novel. Thank you again for the kind words!!!