Hi. Looking for advice. I am 39 and I have had a childhood full of trauma. Depression owned my life for 20 years. Got married at 20, had 3 kids. I have Bipolar and he NEVER supported me. He would call me lazy in front of the kids, put me down, and yes I made many mistakes due to my mental illness, but no matter what I did see my preist, go to therapy, he would never forgive e. So 3 years ago I filed for legal seperation and moved out. My ids live ith him and I used to see them every day . They live in the next town. So here I am, last year having a nervous breakdown, and after 2 family sudden deaths recently had another one. Signed myself into the phych hospital for a few weeks, changed my meds, was forced to recover at his home. THAT WAS PURE HELL.
I am home now for the last several weeks and healing slowly. It has been hard dealing with the silence and looking for encouragement. I have finally accepted the fact that he can never give me wat I need and I am keeping my distance. It hurts for we still talk occasionally but he sexually hits on me. It freaks me out. For I am going thru so much emotionally. The depression has finally lifted and a bit of happiness comes and goes. Every time he jokes about having sex, I freak out. I find it offending, disrespectful, hurtful, and I dont know how to handle it. My heart I have locked in a fortress until I heal and I want his respect for the 1st time but I want to be left alone. Any advice?