Thanks JD, yes, I am finding it very hard to tackle this PTSD and negetive events and negetive people.

I am actually glad that I opted out of going to a last minute deposition that really wasn't last minute, just last minute for my attorney when he noticed he forgot to do his job correctly. And unfortunately because of how difficult the weekend ended up being in spite of my efforts to just do my best to ignore situations, Monday I was completely filled with anxiety. And it was not my choice, that is what I don't like about having this. I am glad that I had an appointment with my T and chose to keep that appointment instead of just forcing myself to do the deposition anyway, I just would not have faired well in my condition.

And your right about there not really being allowances for someone really dealing with a bear like PTSD that was presented by such negligence that I honestly just broke.
And I really don't want to present myself as an out of control person, because I know it won't do me any favors. And it is bad enough that my own attorney is so unpredictable. I honestly could not believe how he acted in my last deposition, I was so completely embarrassed by him. And the deposition became all about him and his religion and his celebrating a 50yr reunion for his Ivy League prestegious college and about all the high profile attorneys he knows and even their philanthropy. And I was so tempted to stand up and say "YES IT'S YOUR LIFE ATTORNEY *******. And yes I wanted to look at the other attorney that I DID like and say, yes, your thoughts are correct my attorney is just another narcissist and yes I am embarrassed too, and yes it would be nice if we could just get through what we really came here for, and yes you have to leave to go pick up your children and now, because of my attorney you have to come back and probably sit and listen to him talk about him again and I know you dont care, neither do I.

Actually all I could think about was, ok, is this Ivy League material or what is produced? I will have to make a mental note of that because I am truely not finding it useful at all. I felt like, yes I do have an old mercedes and yes they hold up well but when something goes wrong they are extremely costly to fix and they are often a waste of money and nothing more than an empty status symbol.

And the truth is, I am not a mechanic, it is just not my forte, and everytime I get near it, I am quickly reminded that all it does is make loud noises and doesn't really run well, if at all.

Open Eyes