I've wanted to cut really badly since last night.

I don't feel desirable to anyone, let alone my bf. I want to cut all the fat off my body with my razors. Give myself my own plastic surgery.

I'm really disgusting to look at and not that attractive to begin with, really. I mean, c'mon, how many guys here would find a 230 lb. woman attractive?

I guess at this point, even if you saw a pic of me and said I was attractive, I wouldn't believe you anyways because I'd think you were just trying to cheer me up and not really telling the truth to begin with. Oh, you know how it is.

I really only think someone who was really overweight would understand. I mean I know some people are more overweight than me, but it still kills me just the same.

No, I haven't cut yet, but still considering it.