In your vulnerable position --- I would say protect yourself and gain all the advantage you can.

To me that would mean making sure you don't have children.

That would mean getting antidepressants from a primary doctor so that you can still answer "no" to any job application which asks if you have ever seen a psychologist or psychiatrist.

That would mean, when you are feeling stronger, obtaining full-time employment, because you need to be self-supporting.

That would mean, after you have had your new job for a year, both more self-respect and a new respect from your husband. At that time I would TELL him that you are going to enroll in night school (Jr. College) with a degree in mind.

When you have your AA, TELL him that you are going to start night classes at University (paying for it yourself, of course).

50-50 DURING THE MARRIAGE --- Make sure that you pay your way (1/2 of the bills, 1/2 of the mortgage, etc.) Make sure that you each pay your own car payment.

UPSCALING: If he wants a better place to live, more furniture, better car, tell him that you can't afford it. Tell him that you're a student and that you have to economize. If he wants luxuries instead of an education for himself, that's all right with you. However, he needs to pay for them himself, just as you're paying for your own education.

MY PREDICATION: Somewhere along the way you two will discover whether you are suited for each other or not. That will take care of itself. Be sure to ignore what inlaws, yours or his, may say about your choices or about your decision not to have children. If you follow the above advice, I think you will be in the best possible position to either divorce or continue the marriage. If you choose to keep the marriage, I think your husband will have to deal with you as an equal. He will have to negotiate with you about what BOTH of you choose to do with your lives from that point on.

One word here. It isn't necessary for both of you to have ambition. It IS necessary, however, that you both have respect for each other's choices in life. An honest living is an honest living.

PS: I did not mean to tell you what to do. This is only what I would do if I were in your position. And, believe me, I HAVE been in your position. There is a lot of hope for you, especially if you don't make the mistake of having children in an unstable marriage, as I did. Don't do as I did, do as I say! Just kidding........

Adieu