You all give such great advice. I'm in a funk right now, I feel so empty and dead inside. I FEEL like the only way to get over this is to have someone SHOW me love. I need it, we all do as people. I'm scared to get close to anyone because everyone ends up out of my life. I didn'tm even know how to love my son when I had him. I have grown to handle it better, but I still don't feel that motherly thing that women have. I don't even get near babies and I refuse to have anymore because I don't have enough of myself to give. UGH!!!! I hate who I turned out to be. Damn you, BPD.

I can be around million people and still feel alone. I have no idea how to stop that.