Someone who helped me tremendously was Byron Katie. She is even quoted in articles here on Psych Central. There is a lot of her materials you can find for free in many places. You can start with her website which contains a brief video of her lecture and session as well as "the work" materials for you to start working on it yourself.

http://www.thework.com/index.php

I heard her work miracles with victims of childhood sexual abuse, with grief and betrayal, with weight issues, with seemingly intollerable life's circumstances.

I am not surprised that therapy and digging into the past does not work. What I found is that no matter how deeply I dig into where my current painful feelings originate it does nothing to allieviate them, in fact often merely adds to my victimhood feelings. We then CLING to those feelings and thoughts and rip to shreds anyone who would mention forgiveness "These a-holes did such horrible things to me, how DARE YOU!!! even suggest I forgive them one iota".

But forgiveness is the only way to freedom. Them begging for your forgiveness is not, because no matter how good they are today what was, was and can't ever be undone, as you know with your brother. You forgive them not because they sufficiently made it up to you and now deserve it (they never will), but because you deserve it. You deserve peace.