Really ... Here's the scoop. After 40 years+ of PTSD in the mil and corp arena, I'm gonna tell ya like it is.

1. You and your family are your #1 priority. Another few years in the service for a mil retirement sound good, but by the time it's over, you'll be buried in the emotional and psychological quagmire that follows you the rest of your life. If your family is still with you at the end of that time, it's a miracle

a. Get a different mil job or get out. We're talking abou you and your fam here. Uncle Sam does not care about you or your family. You're the only one watching your back.

b. You can try for the mental health assistance while in the job, but it doesn't seem reasonable that you'd grab care from the shrink and get promoted. While the mil advocates all this mental health stuff, only you can tell whether they are honest about it. From your remark that you're afraid about discussing it here, I can tell that things haven't changed much since I was in the service. At that time, the shrinks were really only in the business of helping the mil discharge anyone who needed help. I was a commander and I used the shrinks for specifically that reason. I'm ashamed of what I did, but it was the system.

c. If you're really on the verge with ptsd, you can probably get a disability retirement. Do the math. You might be better off taking a disability now than waiting for 20 yrs. I know the mental and emotional struggle this will cause. I had to go through it.

d. More of the same won't help you in the future. I was in combat. I was wounded. I am permanently disabled because of it. I dodged the ptsd symptoms for years, but they have now descended upon me with a vengeance. You've done your duty. You've saved lives. You've defended the helpless. You've gone way beyond anything anyone could expect.

Now it's time to pay attention to your own needs. Because you've done as you're trained, you're not really at the top of your game. You're not the elite soldier you once were. Oh, sure, you can still do your job, but not with the enthusiasm and engagement that you once had. It's time to turn this over to the next in line.

I know it's not politically correct for me to tell you these things. As I speak, I feel kind of disloyal to the *flag* or whatever it is that drives warriors. But I have to tell you that continuing in your job will not make things better in the end.

No matter how dedicated you and your wife are. No matter how much you'll try to understand each other, in the end you will separate because of circumstances beyond your control.

Thank you for your service, Really. Thank you for all Americans and all of those you defend. We cannot express our appreciation enough to make it meaningful.

PM me if you wish. I'm no shrink, but I've been in your position.

troy