My t was telling me I need to trust him more (forgotten how he worded that- maybe that I don't trust him) at my last session. We started in April. It is hard to imagine feeling comfortable to easily talk around him, like the way I could around some friends sometimes. The funny thing is that I think he has the personality that he could help me feel comfortable talking about pretty personal things if he wanted to. When I'm around someone who talks about themselves that way, I can usually join in. I wonder why therapists don't make it easy for clients to talk like that.

Anyway, I feel he doesn't like me and I imagine he sort of wishes I wouldn't come with my petty problems. I guess at least I'm a steady income and not giving him crises to deal with, even though he has to get through a boring hour every other week with me. I imagine therapists have to take a sort of detached perspective, so even though he might dislike a lot of things about me if he met me irl, I'm coming there to ask for help to change, so he tolerates the stuff he dislikes to try to help. idk. He says he "likes doing therapy," not that he likes me. So I guess I'm trying to have a similarly detached perspective that even though he might not like a lot of things about me, he wants to help. It is weird and I'm not sure it's a good thing, but that's where I am. It is Really hard to feel comfortable being open to him while knowing I'm showing him some pretty miserable parts of myself that I can't blame him for disliking.