Bless your heart -- you've been thru alot. I'm afraid that the way your husband is, is permanent. He's a jerk -- he wants to USE you for his own pleasure!!! If he were truly caring, that wouldn't be the only thing on his mind -- he'd be more concerned with how YOU are -- not his urges!!!
I know you want his approval & his caring, but he never gave it to you before, so why would he now? You're going to have to accept that this is the way he is -- and try to deal with it. Tell him in NO uncertain terms that you do NOT want to go to bed with him, and you'd appreciate it if he'd STOP mentioning it !!! If he starts to bring it up again, STOP him the minute he opens his mouth. You don't have to be treated like a piece of furniture for him to use. Demand that he respect your wishes! And steer clear of him as much as possible until you're less vulnerable.
It sounds like you're making good progress tho. You're to be congratulated -- I'm sure it wasn't easy to leave, and live on your own. One of my favorite "sayings" is "All I ask is simple respect -- I expect nothing more, but I'll accept nothing LESS."
Best of luck -- you're doing a good job. God bless. Hugs, Lee
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