Quote:
Originally Posted by salukigirl
I think that putting a label on children takes away from a true childhood. To me, it sounds like she just needs a different parenting style which doesn't mean (to me) that there is anything wrong with her. I do like your marble idea. I don't like rewarding kids for behavior that should be expected of everyone. That's why I don't really understand the whole graduation from every other grade thing. I graduated twice. High school and college. Now kids have a special ceremony for wiping their @$$ correctly so I am in total agreement with you there.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, age 6 (from my experience) is when kids really start to want their own stuff. They want to be able to do things. They want their own things to be proud of. And they are getting old enough to recognize these opportunities. All I really wanted was for my parents to show me a little specialized attention or simply talk with me about what was going on instead of fighting with each other and it ended up having me be spied on in class by psychologists etc...
I hope the progress continues and you get the support you need.
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Thank you all for your words of wisdom. Last Tuesday we had an amazing night of harmony. No fussing, no frustration. I let her know exactly what I expected in a calm and collected voice and she complied without a peep. She reminded me about the marbles and I negotiated her homework/piano practice with her...after a bath right after a dinner, rather than right after dinner. I think it gave her a little bit of a sense of control to ask for homework/piano after her bath. On the way home from school, I asked her which she preferred...doing homework right after school or after dinner. She was thoughtful for a moment, then said, "after dinner". Another kudo for sense of control. I have witnessed her after school and thought she needed some downtime and exercise so I was pleased she found our pattern acceptable. I reminded her she could make homework/piano take all night or a few minutes...it was her choice. Another control moment for her. It all added up to a very pleasant evening.