This next week I will fly to Chicago to attend a mental health workshop. I have strained my budget to go and I hope it will teach me many things. It is a workshop by DBSA to become a Peer Specialist for counseling purposes. In order to attend, you must agree to "come out" about your mental health diagnosis. My family members know all about my bipolar disorder diagnosis, but my friends and co-workers do not. I will have to learn how I can break it gently to them, if it is needful at all. I have a part-time job in retail and we are gearing up for the holiday season. I need the hours/money so I don't want to jeopardize my job. I hope I learn how to divulge this information...my bipolar disorder...in a positive light. I always feel like I have to apologize for it....especially to my family members. They think my bipolar disorder diagnosis "taints" them. If I experience a cycle, I feel obligated to tell them 1.) I am taking my medications faithfully, 2.) I am keeping my psychiatrist appointments, 3.) if I have done something unusual do to manic behavior...i.e., overspending, hyper-sexuality. I really feel the details are none of their business but feel compelled to relate them. I hope during this workshop I can find insight and bolster myself so that a detailed psychiatric history is not necessary just because I have a relapse. If I have to go through that with my boss...I probably wouldn't have a job. Cross you fingers for me!
Although I am excited, I am also nervous about the change in routine I will undergo. MY recovery is closely tied to routine. I hope a weeks worth of different experiences doesn't tip me over the edge!