perhaps you should recommend that your husband attend SCA (Sexual Compulsives Anonymous) meetings. the reason i suggest this is because one of the problems of sexual compulsives is that they make their partners perform sexual acts that they don't really wish to participate in. the program will teach them that such pressure on a partner does not contribute to a healthy sexual / love relationship.

I like your goal of bringing back the balance in the relationship and of sticking it out. Please talk to your husband and let him know that you feel the fetish has taken over and how it is affecting your relationship. All the best to you!