Hi All,
I'm trying to break out of a habit of isolating myself physically and emotionally from other people. It's easy to connect with people on the internet, but in real life my emotions go hide behind this big brick wall and I am stiff and uncomfortable. People think I don't like them or that I am a snob, or suspect that I don't like them. I hate living like this and am in therapy to try to resolve some of the issues that keep me isolated. I'm an only child, sexual abuse survivor, was caught up in a cult for awhile, then married to church work.... it's kind of like one of those lonely librarians. Now with animals, I am great. I'm a regular horse whisperer. Most animals innately sense that I am safe. I just am looking forward to the day that my frozenness melts. My therapist told me that I am frozen at the point of trauma. I have a long ways to go, but I feel like I have a whole load of potential to offer once I find a fuse to put in my dynamite stick. I have so many ideas and lots of creativity.... it's just tools I'm missing. It's like I have the coloring book, but someone stole my crayons!