In my life, I am usually on meds or I'm off and miserable. When I'm on the meds I don't feel like I have any problems, therefore, I don't need a T to talk to because I have everything under control, the emotions aren't there for me to deal with like crying and triggers and stuff. What do I do now? I'm off of meds to try and make amends to my husband, for not being able to show affection, but I feel guilty about EVERYTHING, so even the things that I enjoy doing, I don't like doing because I feel that I owe this depression my life, my happiness and my husband does not understand. He says you know how addicts use to forget or to not feel anything, he said that sounds like what you are doing, and he doesn't see it as healthy. I feel like climbing the walls but I really want to deal with my past, right now is hard because I'm reliving an anniversary and I feel like I'm whammied. Anybody been there or have suggestions? Had a long discussion with husband last night and I told him that I resented him for wanting me to go off the meds and he said well go back on them then, (yeah I know, real supportive). Even though his mom tried to commit suicide years ago, he has no clue that someone could possibly feel this bad and not be able to just get over it.