I should probably be a little more specific. It's not all the OCD things. It's kind of a mixed bag. Like... the uber-clean, tidy and arranging 'just so' go right out the window. Way out. In every regard, both personal and all surroundings. That's the part that brings on added guilt, because I'm compelled to do them, but can't. And when the depression knocks me out of it so badly that I don't even "see" this, it's disconcerting when glimpses do come, because it's so uncharacteristic.

(Other habits remain, and/or any lessening due to zombification doesn't produce extra guilt -- like counting, bug and germ-phobic things, checking and re-checking. The checking thing I don't do quite as much as usual and seems driven more at such times by being so numb and spaced out that the checking is because I have no idea whether I just did something or not, with less of the component of the checking to prevent "disasterous" things. The germaphobic things might seem related to the clean, but my stuff doesn't bother me, it's "other people's germs" -- stuff out in the world.)

Hmmm. In reading this, it occurs that the first paragraph stuff can also affect and/or be seen by others (along with non-OCD things like not cooking), while the second paragraph stuff is "my" stuff, which doesn't. That might be part of the guilt thing...

Don't know if this makes sense. Might be rambling...